To Check Your Mental Health

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital .


Please select from the following options menu :


If you are obessive-complusive, press 1 repeatedly

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional , press 7 and your call will be forwarded to mother ship

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press

If you are manic-depressive, it doesnt matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are Dyslexic, press 96969696969696969

If you are bipolar , please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep.Pleas e wait for the beep.

If you have a short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have a short-term memory loss press 9.

If you have low selfesteem , please hang up our operaters are to busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausel , put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You wont be crazy for ever.

If you are blonde, dont press any buttons , you will just mess it up.